In the last 24 hours, I have been confronted with one of my weaknesses. I have the tendency to act rashly impulsively (I changed the wording because “rash” seems like it has a negative charge to it…..I need to be more careful of judgment). The first thing I had to do was accept that I have the capacity to act impulsively. Normally, when I make an impulsive choice (which as I look back on my life, happens a lot) it seems like things happen so fast that I scarcely have time to figure out what transpired. However, this time, thing have been different.
Due to a recent retirement announcement, a position will be opening up that is not normally available. While it is not usually considered a natural extension of my position, I am well qualified to apply for it. Once I realized the possibility of taking this position, my typical impulsiveness kicked in and I started talking to people and figuring out how to make it work…..I did all this in the name of “striking while the iron was hot” which it what I always use as my justification (I have a very low threshold for how I define a “hot” iron). Another weakness I have is the tendency to make decisions based on the amount of money that it will bring (regardless of how many hours it may take). This extra appointment carries a pretty significant stipend. Since learning of the opening, I have one person left to talk to, my direct supervisor, and he has been unavailable for 2 days. So, I have been forced to sit on this for two days. In that time, I have though a lot about the position, how it will affect my free time/family time and the money. the other day, Steph only asked me one question, “How does this new opportunity fit in with you goal/direction?” At the time, I answered with a question that rationalized my “at the time” decision to go for the position. But I started to think about it.
So here we are today. I woke up and the first thought in my mind was, “The position was where I wanted to be for the first 7/8 years of my current current job, but now…with everything I am working on now….I don’t think it is still in line.” The next thought was, “I would karate for 4 months and I would lose three days of spending time with my family.” And then I thought, “The money I would get for doing it is significantly less than I make in my private studio, even if I get no more students in the next year.” I have spent more time thinking about this choice then I have ever spent on any choice. And I don’t feel that I am taking too long, but am actually thoughtfully considering all options before reaching a decision. I have not made a final decision, but I know that when I do reach a decision, it will be one that I am confident is the best decision.
So here are the 4 steps of Cheerful Acceptance applied to this current situation:
Step 1 – Choose your attitude – This has become normal for me. I am living much more “whole-heartedly/cheerfully. When I woke this morning, I started with the thought, “I am whole-heartedly committed to accepting who I am today.
Step 2 – Acknowledge what is true today…without judgment. This did happen immediately. As you saw early in the post. I started by acknowledging that I tend to act “rashly” which is a judgment. I have to re-frame the thought to, “I tend to act impulsively, without full thought.”
Step 3 – Decide how you want what is true tomorrow to be different from what is true today. I what to spend more time on my decisions and make sure that I have completely thought things out before I act.
Step 4 – DO something about it. I applied this information to a current situation. I weighed all of the the options and thoughtfully considered alternatives. I have not made a decision, but I have far more information than I usually do.
In any other situation over the past 38 years of my life, I would have already made the decision and put all the pieces in place. Regardless of the impact on my current path, I would be fully committed to the new path… And then, even if I realized later that it may be the wrong path, I feel the guilt and social pressure to follow through with the new path because I told everyone about my new decision. While I have discussed it with some people, it was by no means a public announcement. Cheerful Acceptance enabled me to put the brakes on a past habit and create a new dialogue for how I handle new opportunities. I know that I still have some miles to go before I completely re-write the impulsivity script, but now I know that I can.
How can Cheerful Acceptance help you to re-write your script?
Have a GREAT day!
Cheerful Acceptance 