Surround yourself with people who know your worth…

Otrazhenie

From http://osarobohenry.wordpress.com

THE END

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Eye opening moment!!!

Recently, I have been re-blogging, both in an effort to support other folks who are sharing their messages like I am and to hopefully increase the visibility of my own blog.  In both cases, it has worked quite well…but it has an unanticipated  secondary benefit.  I come across some really brilliant ideas!  I have found several blog posts that I am able to identify with on a deep level.  Yesterday was one of those days.

I was reading a blog and I came across the following statements:

1.)  I am afraid what matters to me doesn’t matter to anyone else.

2.)  I am afraid no one will even notice.

3.)  I am afraid that I won’t get the approval I so deeply desire.

When I read these lines I immediately thought, “WOW!!!! That is exactly how I feel!!

I have never voiced this to myself or anyone else.  Before yesterday, I did not realize that some of the fears I have always tried to hide contained these thoughts…  I read these three statements over and over again for 15 or 20 minutes… I create a digital sticky note on my computer so that I would not subconsciously bury these thoughts again.

At this point, Cheerful Acceptance suggests that I now have to welcome these three guests to the table….without judgement.   That is very difficult to do.  Fear is a primal emotion and it is always charged.  Even reading those words I can feel the fear inside me growing.  How can I possibly allow these feelings to surface without judgment?  These are significant weaknesses and I most surely am less of a person for feeling them…right?

Okay, so now I have identified the fear and recognized that I am still carrying the judgement.  I need to set aside that judgement.  Fear exists in all of us and acknowledging fear does not diminish who we are…I have to repeat that several times before I start to believe it.  Cognitively, I know that this is what I must do to move from Step 2 to Step 3.  But emotionally, I am still on the battlefield and this fear is still holding its ground.  I realize that this battle may not be won in a day…so even though I am not emotionally ready, I will think through what Steps 3 and 4 will look like….eventually.

Step 3 – Decide how what is true tomorrow will be different from what is true today.  Tomorrow I want to realize that these fears don’t matter.  So what if what matters to me doesn’t matter to anyone!  I don’t need validation from others to make my thoughts valid.  They are valid on their own merit.  Even if no one else ever notices, I will notice and I am just as important as everyone else!  Lastly, I don’t need approval from anyone else…So long as I approval of myself, that is all I need!  Self-acceptance is the realization that I am who I am and I am ENOUGH!

Step 4 – Do something about it.  Once I have accepted these fears without judgement.  I simply need to see them for what they are each day and not let them have a controlling vote in how I live my life.  They are a part of me,  but they do not own me!

However, Steps 3 & 4 are just a thinking exercise for right now.  Emotionally I am still on Step 2.  I know that I have more emotional work to do, before I can truly welcome these fears without judgement….on an emotional level.

What are some weaknesses that you have that you can accept without judgement on a cognitive level…but not on an emotional level?  Today was an eye opener because I had not conceived that there was a distinction.  How can we be certain we are accept our weaknesses on an emotional level?

Have a GREAT day!